This is a previous post I had written a few months back, but wanted to share again on this lovely Monday!!!!
Marriage….you have to work at it….not every once in awhile….but.every.single.day. Sure, there will be high days, where you think, we have the best marriage ever. Then, there will be days when you ask yourself, what did I get myself into? But, no matter the day you are having with your spouse, or year for that matter, it all resorts back to, how much do you fear God? What does Scripture say about marriage? And what is the world telling you how marriage should look like?
It is plain as day…God says, “I hate divorce” Malachi 2:16
You wonder why I dive right into the answer being divorce when we are a valley with our marriage. Society and culture tells us to bail out when we are not happy, and when the newness wears off. Did you know the first 10 years of marriage are the hardest? With anything; toys, clothes, friends, cars…the new wears off. Does that mean, you ditch them when it begins to fade, or when the batteries run out, when the new car smell exchanges with a dirty sock odor? I sure hope not. I hope you look at those things, and think of ways to improve it.
If your clothes are fading, well maybe try some awesome detergent that brightens up colors. I am sure it has been invented.Just like in our marriages, the new will begin to fade, but that is when we get to grow in our marriage and make new memories. Just as the seasons change, our marriages change. We start out like summer–so hot with passion, we can’t keep our hands off each other. Then, we move into fall, the beautiful colors that take our breaths away soon have to fall off the trees to the ground. We either choose to let those leaves die there, and never move forward into the hardest season of them all….winter….trees that have lost their leaves and life of color. Winter is where we have to fight off the nasty colds that make us want to curl up in bed, and never get out. If you continue to persevere and see the new blooms of spring, the blooms of hope, something to grasp onto…your safe…you made it through, now keep blooming as the buds all over the earth are during this beautiful season of spring. Spring is a time to become alive again…what step will you take to not go down the path of divorce, but to go down the path of life? Life that is full of pain, but also full of laughter. I promise the connection is still there…sometimes we just have to dig back in, date again…get your spouses attention like you use to before you were married. TALK. and if it comes down to it, get counseling.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and time for peace” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Can you look over these passages and apply them to your marriage? I can reassure you, you are not alone. There is nothing new under the sun. But, there is a time for everything. Whatever the case may be, know there is a time for it. Take this time to grow. To persevere. To move toward a marriage that makes it through the dead cold winter and blossoms like a beautiful tulip in the spring.
love to all