Say what?! Yes, this is the same Anna Pociask that has written on the destruction of divorce. And today, not looking from the outside in, I come from within the doors of divorce.
A calling to divorce is not a sweet mellifluous sound to my ears and not how God intended marriage to turn out. Merely do not hear me say I am waiting around without living life to the fullest. I do not know the plans God has for my X and I, and I do not even know if that will ever exist again. Simply each day I strive to live by obedience and dedication to knowing God with all my heart.
Can you try and say today, divorce can be a gift in disguise. If we cannot change it from happening, we have to start living again with a new purpose. Whether we like to admit it or not, WE changes to I, our finger still remembers the feeling of the ring that once was there, and we still sleep on “our” side of the bed…the familiar slowly turns into only a faint memory. My ring finger feels naked and exposed now. I find myself embarrassed when I have to share, I am divorced. And I avoid laying or even looking at the other side of what use to be our bed.
Right now I want to say don’t cut yourself short from believing your life has lost its purpose. I like to think of it as divorce shifting our purpose around. When life veers to the left or the right or maybe completely upside down, we cant help to see life as a complete makeover.
We eventually become more aware of our surroundings, as if a veil had been taken off our eyes completely. At one time while looking through that veil it was a tad blurry. Because our eyes were so locked onto our marriage we became fogged to everything else around us. However, I beg of you to not hear me say divorce is best if you are separated and on the brinks of giving up. I am clearly saying if divorce has become out of your humanly control, accept it as a point to look beyond what is right in front of you. And dive deeper into who and what is a blessing in your life now.
For example earlier today my son and I put together a robot. I am not gonna lie I was intimated when the instructions said, “takes a little less than an hour to put together” This may seem like a small stretching point for someone, but for me, it was huge. Even though I bought this as a Christmas gift, if I was still married, I would have doubted myself before even trying and just had their dad do it with him. But this turned out to be such a fun bonding moment with my son, and I accomplished the goal in LESS than an hour. 😉 My purpose as a mother will never be taken away from me; even though our home has shifted, it has not crumbled. And I give God all the glory.
I love when people share my journey, feel free to share with others going through a divorce.
And to see more of my journey follow me on Instagram: @waitinginobedience