What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? –Gary Thomas
Did you know your marriage has purpose? That you and your spouse are meant to draw one another closer to the center of Gods will rather than to the center of ourselves? Now lets dig deep really fast, because if you have read recent posts of mine, I am not one to talk about butterflies and flowers, but love getting to the root of the issue. So, hold on, and lets dig in…..
I very much admire the truths Timothy Keller brings to the table; he is a well-known Christian author that I have learned much from for my own marriage. I quote from Timothy Keller, “marriage brings out the worst in you. (nice, right)? 😉 It doesn’t create weaknesses though you may blame your spouse for your blow-ups, it reveals them.” #ouch
What are some ways your spouse has revealed weaknesses in your life? And maybe if it has not been in a healthy way, lean on Ephesians 4:15, “….speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” I am sure we are all guilty of blowing up at our spouse when we see them acting out in a way that basically disgusts us. As sin should disgust us, and I think if our intention of speaking the truth in love is our focus, we have a better chance of being heard from our spouse.
Lets go back to the very beginning when we hear God say, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”. (Genesis 2:18) And I think we all scratch our heads on this when we see shortly after, this “suitable” helper wandering off and making a name for herself without her spouse……. God did say it was not good for him to be alone……. And God did say he would make a parter that would be suitable, and another word described as suitable is purpose…….BOOM! Sorry, I get excited when things like that come together. 😉
Have you ever thought about the purpose your marriage, as a couple, not individually, has to offer back to God? If you remember anything from this post, this is what I want you to take to your heart today. Look at your spouse today with pride. Do not take lightly the responsibility you have for helping each other grow out of your sins into the new self God is creating.
So I am basically trying to open our eyes to the fact we are all messed up in a fallen world, hiding our faults, blaming our weaknesses, and not taking serious the purpose our marriage is to unfold. In times of weakness where are we running off to fill our void of loneliness, confusion, heartache, dissatisfaction, bitterness, or any need not being met? Why are we so quick to fill that void with something temporary? We must turn from selfishness, and turn back around and look at the beauty that could be yours if we helped our spouse achieve it. We know our spouse better than anyone else (at least we should). “speak the truth in love”…..
Put away anything that does not bring holiness to your marriage. Our marriages can not be a unit of happiness without them reflecting the love of Christ. Happy lives comes with holy living. And I will end on this quote by J.C. Ryle….
How is it, people often ask, that so many professing believers have so little happiness in their religion? How is it that so many know little of joy and peace in believing, and go mourning and heavy-hearted towards heaven? The answer to these questions is a sorrowful one, but it must be given. Few believers attend as strictly as they should to Christ’s practical sayings and words. There is far too much loose and careless obedience to Christ’s commandments. There is far too much forgetfulness, that while good works cannot justify us, they are not to be despised. Let these things sink down into our hearts. If we want to be eminently happy, we must strive to be eminently holy.
~ J.C. Ryle
Anna Pociask, MA